Hey Ruby
by Half-Blind Otaku
Summary: Losing people is difficult enough, but how much harder when the one she's lost is the only one who's ever made her feel valued? Please, don't hesitate to leave an opinion in the form of Reviews or PMs.
1. Denial

**I do not own RWBY and am in no way affiliated with Rooster Teeth. **

**Author's Note: A word of warning before we begin; this is a death fic, and it will not be a happy read. If tragedy just isn't your thing, I understand completely, but for those of you who do choose to read it, I would greatly appreciate any feedback you care to share with me. This is the first chapter of what I plan to be a three part story progressing through the stages of grief. Whether or not I did good or missed the mark completely, you'll have to be the judge. At any rate, I hope that you enjoy, or at least don't get **_**too **_**depressed. **

_Denial_

"Hey Ruby…"

It was cold… So cold. The slate grey clouds above choked out the afternoon sun, leaving the sky ashen and pale. The very weather itself conspired to sap her of what strength she had left. That was fine though; what would she need it for now? She was living on someone else's time now – hers had ended three days ago.

"I brought you some roses…"

Roses had always been Ruby's favorite, and they were a welcome, if lonely contrast to the bleakness of the day's weather.

"It's funny…" Weiss forced a little mirthless laugh, "Yang would never let me live this down if she saw it…"

A bitter wind blew past, causing a few of the petals to detach and flutter to the still loosely packed earth at her feet. Even the grass about her feet seemed drab and bleak – well, except for the looser patch of bare earth immediately before her. Even plucked from their stems though, the petals remained vibrant as the drifted to and landed upon the ground, looking so painfully, painfully reminiscent of…

"I just wanted to come keep you company for a while…"

Weiss had come alone. Blake and Yang didn't need to know, they'd been to visit yesterday with everyone else. Today it was just her and Ruby, the heiress and the dunce, Weiss and her very best, very first friend.

"You know…" She sighed, "We don't spend enough time like this, just sharing each other's company… I… I know that I'm not always helpful on that front but… I can be better…"

Weiss set the roses down at her feet.

"You know something Ruby?" She inhaled deeply, breathing in the cold, "We really should do this more often…" Weiss swallowed, "But you know what… That stops now… I'm going to be a better partner… I'm going to start finally living up to that promise… I'm going to start _living up _to my pledge to be your best teammate, okay? I promise… So please…"

Weiss Schnee knelt.

"Come on Ruby… Talk to me…"

She didn't get an answer though, just another biting wind. More and more of the heat leeched out of her, but that was alright; she didn't need it, she'd be fine. Her snow-white bangs hung over her eyes as she looked down to the bundle of roses at her feet. They'd seemed so vibrant just a few minutes ago but now… The bouquet had already lost its luster, just like…

"Please…"

Still more silence, but for the whisper of another chilled breeze, inducing Weiss to shivers and causing her to double over and withdraw into herself against the cold. The Cardigan wasn't doing her any good… It was just so cold…

She shook her head, "No… I can take it… Don't worry Ruby… I'm here for you…"

Yet she was numb. Her fingers, tucked under her arms as they were, her face, exposed as it was, and her knees, pressed to the earth, it was all too cold to feel. But that didn't matter, hell it was better that way… It just hurt so much to feel…

"You don't have to worry about me…" She choked out, sniffling… It was just so cold… "Just… just take as long as you need… Rest is important, yeah?"

She looked up from the dirt on which she knelt for the first time in a while, but didn't let herself look straight ahead; she couldn't; if she did… She just couldn't. Instead she reached out, hand shaking… _It's just… cold… _

"Come on Ruby… Let's… Let's just go home…"

But as her shaking fingers touched the granite… She couldn't keep it up; she wasn't numb enough… not anymore. She didn't have the energy to maintain the happy delusion, she couldn't think straight, couldn't deny it, couldn't fight it; it was too late for all of that. three days too late, suffered through on time she had no right to. Slumping forward to support herself on the monument to Ruby's memory, she bitterly reflected upon just how _warm _the stone was. It stung to even touch the frozen granite, but that was not cold; cold was something else entirely.

Cold was the way she'd learned to be, so as to be spared from life's many little miseries. The loneliness, the quiet, growing up to the realization that no one really loved you… It was nothing to a frozen soul.

Cold was the way she'd treated everyone who ever tried to be her friend. No one could be trusted; everyone wanted something… Better just not to let anyone in at all.

Cold was the way she'd lived her life.

And then she'd met Ruby.

Such a stupid, stupid dunce…. But so, _so _sincere… Eager, cocky, hyperactive, warm, and _too stupid to put herself first… _So stupid... She wanted to be a huntress so she could help people – everyone said it of course, but how many people could honestly say that was the _only reason? _Ruby Rose. She was it: the only one, but who could she help now? Now that she was gone…

Cold was all Weiss had felt when an exhausted Ruby had come between Weiss and the grave that should have been hers, allowing her to recover her wits just in time to cast them aside again.

Cold was the hatred with which she'd hewn the monster down.

But most of all… Cold was all that was left as the life had hemorrhaged from Ruby's body.

"Come on Ruby! Please!" Weiss sobbed trying to muster the will to resume the denial even as her trembling fingers traced the engraved name on the stone, "Wake up…"

But it was useless, and she knew it.

"You didn't have to…" She tried and failed to restrain the wracking sobs, "I won't accept it! Please…"

But she didn't have a choice, just the cold.

**Next Chapter: Anger & Bargaining**


	2. Anger & Bargaining

_Anger & Bargaining_

"I'm so _sick of this!_"

Weiss got to her feet, shaking, but it wasn't the cold this time.

"How could you be so _stupid? _I always knew you were irresponsible even if no one else let themselves see it! How the hell are you going to help people now, huh?" Weiss' breathing grew ragged and shallow, "What good is it to be a damn hero now?"

She bent down to pick up one of the roses, seemingly withered by the cold already. The colors were still there, but they seemed dead and empty.

"God… What was I thinking, bringing you roses?" She squeezed the stem until the thorns drew blood, "What good does cutting down more roses do?"

She stood there, trembling, for what felt like an eternity, simply watching her breath turn to fog with each labored exhalation. Squeezing the stem all the harder, she just let the blood drip down her fingers and fall to the ground; it hurt, but at least it was something, _anything _else to feel. Her scar hurt too, as did her whole body, thanks to the biting cold, but none of it mattered. They were all just welcome distractions from the one real ache that wouldn't go away.

Weiss lifted the rose and plucked one of the petals, letting it flutter unceremoniously to the ground, "You see that Ruby?" she demanded, plucking another one, "Every one of these petals is another person you _can't save _because… because you just _had to ..._" she choked on her words and fell back to her knees, dropping the rose, "Because you just _couldn't leave me…_" She struck the polished granite with all her strength, "Dammit Ruby, why?"

It just didn't make sense. Why had she even bothered?

"I'm not worth it, Ruby," Really, she wasn't, "Didn't anyone ever teach you priorities? Who am I kidding? Of course no one did, you stupid, _stupid…" _

She couldn't finish the rebuke though.

"I mean, look at me!" She stared into her own dull reflection on the polished stone, "I'm a wreck! I'm a self-centered, spoiled child who treats you and everyone else like dirt! You should have _left me, dammit! _You're worth so much more…"

She squeezed her eyes shut and bent her head downward, letting the tears fall.

"That's what I _hate _about you… So much… You have absolutely no idea how much you mean to people – how much you meant to _me!_ You just _had _to be the hero!" She laughed bitterly, "But that's me being selfish again I suppose…"

She took a deep breath.

"I should be grateful…"

And let it out again.

"You saved my life…"

Another breath.

"But I'm not!" She punched the grave again, "How could you possibly think that I could ever be happy again, knowing you _wasted your life on me!_" She pressed her forehead to the headstone, "Look at me damn it! I am horrible! I'm making a scene! You deserve better than this!"

She just knelt there for a while. She was hollow, the wind seeming to run right through her. She shivered, but didn't get up to leave. She didn't want to.

"This should have been mine," She whispered, short for breath, voice shaking, "Don't you know it's wrong to take other people's things? You should know better… Give… Give it back… please…"

Weiss just found herself crying there alone in the cold for a while though, eventually reaching for the roses again.

"… You can have these… What more do you want?" But that didn't help, and so she unwrapped the red scarf from about her neck and laid it upon the ground as well, "How about this? Take it; it's yours… I know it's your favorite color… don't try to deny it…"

All for nothing.

"Just take it!" Weiss shouted in her grief, "You want some cookies too? I can do that… Clothes? Money? Anything you want – Name it and it's yours! Just…" She tightened her grip on the stone, "… Anything but this…"

There was nothing but the cold though. Between fogging breaths and powerless sobs, she wished more than anything that she could erase the name 'Ruby Rose' from the stone, even if she would then have to replace it with 'Weiss Schnee.'

"I want you back…"

All her life, Weiss Schnee had been freely given anything and everything she'd ever wanted, and she'd quickly been conditioned that, as long as she was a good girl – as long as she sat quietly, obeyed, spoke when spoken to – none of it would be taken away. As she'd grown up, she learned things didn't work that way when she wasn't dealing with the Schnee Company, but even then, threaten someone with the name, or failing that, offer enough Lien, and things would still always go her way, and she didn't even have to smile, nod, or say 'yes Father.' The first cracks in this new mindset had come with the Beacon initiation; for the first time in her life, Weiss Schnee had to _earn _something for herself, and despite her frustration at not having been made leader, eventually Team RWBY just felt… _Right. _Now though, all that had shattered like glass and no amount of teamwork, Daddy's money, or quietly being a good girl could fix it this time.

But she refused to think about that, surely there had to be something, _anything… Please… _

"You shouldn't have done this to me Ruby…" Still kneeling, she sat back on her heels, "Now I have to keep living knowing that it's my fault that you're gone…" she took a fistful of her own hair in her injured hand and squeezed, "And I have to be alone again…"

There was still Blake and Yang, sure, but they just weren't… _They aren't Ruby…_

"You saved my life…" Weiss repeated, "But it wasn't on that mission…"

Regretfully she remembered the way she'd treated Ruby when they'd first met. She recalled thinking that she couldn't afford to let herself get distracted; she had to show Daddy that she was worth something, and thinking that this stupid, stupid dunce would cause her trouble, and cause trouble she did. Somewhere along the way though, the annoyance started to become endearment, and mutual antagonism became mutual support. As much as Weiss had found Ruby's personality to be more than a little bit grating at first, she'd had to admit first that Ruby was talented, then that she was a good leader, and finally a dearest friend upon whom she'd come to allow herself to depend. Father would never approve… Now though… that support had knocked itself from under her.

"You saved me from the loneliness… I didn't know it then, but that was all I ever needed… All I ever could have asked for… I didn't need your _life _Ruby!" She took several long., difficult, shaking breaths, trying desperately to feel nothing save the cold, but she couldn't do that anymore, "And you have no idea how much I wish that I could give it back…"

**Next Chapter: Depression and Acceptance**


	3. Depression & Acceptance

_Depression & Acceptance_

All she had left now were the memories, and the freshest among them was one she'd love nothing more than to erase. As the snow finally began to drift down from the clouds and melted upon her skin, she couldn't help thinking of it. The shock that it could happen to Ruby, the horror at the realization of the meaning of what her eyes were showing her… The abject, frantic pleading to whatever God was listening for it not to be true as, in the last moments, she had clung tightly to Ruby's hand as her pulse grew faint. There were simply no words for what had come over her as the warmth had seeped from Ruby's body, her life bleeding away. _That is what cold really feels like… _

It had fallen to Blake and Yang to finish off the pack after Weiss had avenged Ruby in her hysterics and then cast her weapon down, but she was far too selfish to care. Yang had fallen apart the instant that the horde was no more and her duty was done – she'd managed to channel it into rage as opposed to Weiss' useless, pitiful misery, but once the battle was over… Blake was the only one able to remain standing, though she looked away as the tears streaked down her face; she'd had to be the strong one then, and it was all she could do to make sure everyone got back home. Without Blake… Weiss and Yang might well have let themselves just die there in the mud. Weiss hadn't cared about Blake or Yang then, though either; she was too busy being selfish.

"Ruby…"

It was all so undignified; a lady wasn't supposed to beg, least of all when she knew it could never be. Civilized people weren't supposed to _whimper _like a wounded animal when life didn't go their way. Stand up straight, neutral expression, feet shoulder's width apart, hands clasped behind you, that's what her father would have said; there would be no excuse for this behavior if he saw it, and yet… Weiss couldn't bring herself to care.

"I'm so, so, _so sorry…_"

Her face was in her hands; the tears just wouldn't stop.

"This is all _my fault…_"

If only she'd been stronger…

"I can't ask you to forgive me…"

If only she'd been faster.

"I don't _deserve it_,"

If only she'd been paying more attention…

"But I don't know what to do!"

It really was all her fault. How many times had she called up a barrier glyph only to have the Grimm disperse around it? How many times had she allowed her attacks to be evaded? How many times had she only taken one Grimm down when she could have taken two with just a little more precision? All of that wasted energy… All that draining inefficiency… If she'd only been better…

"I just weighed you down… That's all I've _ever done…_"

Ruby had been so exceptional in every way that mattered; she was amazing – there was no other word for it – and her future should have been so bright. It just wasn't _fair. _

"Why should _I _get to live?" Weiss demanded of herself, "You were the one with the dreams Ruby! I was only living because I'm too much of a _coward to die!_"

There it was: she'd always had the option, after all. She could have blamed Father for being neglectful, or for being angry whenever he wasn't, but that was useless. She could have blamed Mother for not being there for her, irrational as that was. She could have blamed the world for the life that she'd been born to, but no. The only person she _really _had to blame for her loneliness was _herself; _she could have ended it whenever she wanted, but she was always too scared.

"I was so selfish…"

If she'd had the courage to end it all before they'd met…

"You could have had a partner you could rely on…"

Maybe… Just maybe…

"Someone _worth _putting your faith in…"

Someone not so selfish and cowardly…

"Someone as good as you deserved…"

Ruby had been so brave…

"It should have been me…"

She couldn't breathe, and didn't want to. Each breath was a sickening indictment of her for her failure, her selfishness, her _cowardice. _

"If only we'd never met…"

Ruby might still be alive…

"I should have done it – I had _so many chances…_"

But it was useless; she hadn't had the courage to do it any of those times before, and she never would. For a while, Weiss had let herself think that she'd never want to again. Sure, Beacon had been rough at first, but soon enough it had become the best time of her life; for the first time she'd had someone to go to – _to lean on _– and she didn't have to hold everything in. Now though… She'd forgotten how, and finally knowing what it was like to be happy made the misery _so much worse…_

"If I could just…"

But then…

"I don't…"

She shouldn't be thinking this… It wasn't fair to Ruby…

"But I don't want to give that up…"

So, so selfish…

"You showed me how to be happy… but… If we'd never met… then you might still be able to live your dream…"

_Or it could just be someone else here crying on their knees…_

"But I can't change it now, can I?"

She let out a shaky breath; of course she couldn't.

"Ruby, I…"

She took another deep breath.

"I love you Ruby, and there's no way that I could ever thank you enough… You really showed me how to _live…_"

Somehow she just knew that the sight of all of this wouldn't have made Ruby happy.

"It hurts so much," Weiss continued, "I'd give anything to bring you back but… I can't…" She squeezed her eyes shut; she didn't want to say what was to come next but it needed to be said, "And you know what? I wasn't really living until I met you so… And even knowing what I know now – how much that it could hurt… God it's so selfish of me but… Given the chance… I'd do it all again… I could take the loneliness all over if it meant meeting you again. There are so many things that I would do differently if I could, but I'll be damned if that's one of them… Of all the fears and failures, all the things that I wish I could undo…. Meeting you is the one thing that I… I just can't bring myself to regret…"

Would it have been better to lie than to be so selfish? She didn't know.

Weiss Schnee got up on her own two feet.

"There is one thing I can do for you though," She took a moment to think, and then nodded, "You gave your life to me..." She drew Myrtenaster, "The least I can do is pay it forward… I can't waste that sacrifice now; it's not my life to throw away anymore, is it?" Another deep breath, "I'm going to live your dream for you; that's all I have to give, and it's absolutely yours," She lifted Myrtenaster's hilt up to eye level, "I promise."

**Author's Note: As I conclude, I want to thank all of you who took the time out of your day/evening to read this, especially those of you who've seen fit to follow, favorite, and leave reviews; I really appreciate the feedback. I do apologize that this chapter took an extra day; I made the mistake of pulling an all-nighter on Wednesday thinking that I could manage a day without sleep, and while manage I did, almost the instant I got home fro classes on Thursday, my body decided to punish me for my hubris by throwing it's own off switch for sixteen hours… Still, this might have gone out earlier in the day if I didn't have class and some shopping to do. In summary, thank you for your time and patience. **

**On a liter note, my next piece to go out will in fact be the Valentine's day chapter of "For Every Occasion" on the 14****th****, appropriately enough. After that though, I'm curious as to what you'd like to see next; floating around in my head are several ideas for Future AU-ish One-shots set after "I'm Not Perfect" involving a wedding, kidnapping, and a night out drinking respectively, as well as an unrelated Angel Beats!/RWBY crossover One-shot featureing Otonashi and one of the RWBY characters (I'm open to suggestions on that front). If any of those ideas interest you, feel free to let me know; I intend to eventually write all of them, but I'm still puzzling over which to prioritize. Anyway, thanks again for reading, and I hope you enjoyed the feels. **

**Half-Blnd Otaku **


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